Fireflies
My walks home in the dark have lately been filled with wonder: the scattered blinking lights of fireflies that mime, for a moment, the stars. I love how abundant they are above my wild and rampant garden. They make me feel awed at the universe, these little glowing beings looking for love in the dark. Sometimes, in the night, they light up an area of my room, and I’ve learned that if all the lights are out, they do make their way back outside to their sparkling mates.
Stay Here
I’m not sure what I want them to represent for me at this time. I’d like them to just stay there, proof that there are still very dark places where bugs still rule, that somewhere, balance still exists in world, even if it is only a two acre bit of grass and forest. There must be other places like this that survive. The land that stretches behind me and down through a hardwood forest by stream to a pond where the trillium grow by a waterfall is conserved and this gives me hope in the future. I don’t know how long I’ll live on this land, but I do know I am thankful to be here, observe, learn, harvest and grow.
Full Moon Eclipse
The Full Moon eclipse in Capricorn was last weekend. I climbed a mountain in a serious mood. I brought a stone shaped like the moon to the top and left it there, on Camel’s Hump. Camel’s Hump, on the Long Trail, was known by indigenous people as Cat Mountain, and it does look more like a sitting catamount than a camel’s hump, but when you are climbing it it doesn’t look like much of either.The trail was steep and I was with my niece who was having trouble making it up the steeper inclines. It was the perfect thing to do on a difficult Capricorn Full Moon plus eclipse that had me wondering if I could release the habits and behavioral patterns I wanted to let go of. For me, the Full Moon is always a time of release, when I want to go with the movement of the Moon coming to fullness and let go of some of the fullness in my that I no longer need. With this one, the last of three summer eclipses, there were Saturnian energies that felt restrictive, with Saturn, Pluto and Jupiter also in Capricorn, sitting at the end of the sign, reminding me to strive. And I did, because goats climb, but I felt such a longing at the top, for other, freer times, and bigger, bolder mountains now far from my gaze. I had to rally myself to get back down. Mercury has also been retrograde, which brings a slowness to our work, which seems only internal. Mercury goes back direct in a few days, and Venus is moving forwards but she is in her shadow period until July 29th. I remind myself that all this work in the shadows, the feeling of moving up but backwards, is normal.
Striving Upwards
What am striving for anyways? Can I even hope to do things right in the eyes of my inner critic? The harsh judgments of myself and of others at the most intimate levels felt daunting (Jupiter) and dark (Pluto). I wasn’t sure I could do what I needed to do. Can I be present and aware? Luckily, later, in the days following the eclipse, which felt like deep decompression, the fireflies were there, light in both meanings of the word, keeping my eyes sparkling and my heart focused on the stars.
Deer Magic
Sunday morning brought another magical gift. As I was walking down my staircase in the early morning, I spied a dear bedded down not three feet from my house, under the lilac bush, staring at me serenely. It stayed there until the sun rose, leaving the magic of his presence like a quiet breath around the house. I felt deeply held and grateful for the persistent lessons of tenderness and beauty the deer impart to me in my corner of cleared woodland. You may remember my deer encounters in the Fall, and afterwards I wondered if it wasn’t one of those deer I had reached out to in my mind, or perhaps they just felt safe there, behind my house, because of how little I tended the garden and the gentleness with which I try to live. There is a mouse problem in my house. Well, I say a mouse problem, but it was one I fully contributed to by feeding my kitchen mice all winter. They kept me company. I wondered if perhaps the mice had gotten the word out, but perhaps the deer just felt it. No harm would come to them there.
What We Can Do
This long period of outer turmoil, pandemic, systemic racism combined with a general sense of doom about what humans do to the environment, has felt daunting to my attempts to put a positive spin on things. Yet what I do is think and write and build around me a small space of light. We can take action from this halo of grace. I guess that is all we can hope to do. Be like fireflies.
I Offer Support
Let me know if you would like any support while doing this. I offer energy healing sessions, flower essence consultations, and tarot readings. I bring my knowledge of astrology to all of these consultations. I also offer creative coaching with the flowers. If you are curious about what that is, you can read about it and sign up for a free conversation about it here.
The Flower of Life
I’ve also posted a new flower essence up in the shop, Star of Bethlehem. She is perfect for remembering our starry nature. With six petals, she represents the flower of life, a powerful symbol that appears throughout the world on folk art and in religious centers. This symbol brings us peace and can aid in meditation. It’s beautiful vibration reminds us of our connection to all life, and the role we play within it. Flowers remind us that we come from the stars and that to there we will return, in our own time. In the meantime, we stretch up between the two, glowing and growing. Star of Bethlehem helps us remember this cosmic blossoming. She also offers us the support of Mary, virgin mother and goddess.
Garden Talks
On the next three Saturdays I will be giving a live garden talk from my garden on my local community’s Facebook page (Enosburgh Community Recreation). I will be talking about the meaning of the shape of flowers, and how we can receive powerful messages just by closely observing their form. I will focus on the White Borage that is growing near my carrots, another, five petaled flower, that reminds us of our starry natures.
Take care everyone, under this hot sun. Keep things small, listen to the small voices of the plants and insects, and especially to the one inside of you. Shed your light around you, however intermittently, so that it may attract what needs to come.
All my love,
Amy