Activate Your Desires: A New Moon Party in Aquarius

Image by WikiImages from Pixabay

An Offering of Home
Getting in the bath tonight to receive my New Moon message felt like going home. I haven’t shared news with you in so long. I feel detached and I’ve felt detached from myself and from others, how very Aquarian. But that is not really me. As a late decan Pisces with my ascendant at the very end of Scorpio, this New Moon falls in my fourth house of home and I came home to myself. How do I want to share it with others? I have been cultivating my offerings, waiting for them to bloom in their own time. That time is not now, with snow laying all around. The seeds are still slumbering. But I am showing up with an offering.

A Planetary Party
The Moon and the Sun aren’t the only cosmic objects gathering in Aquarius. You can find Jupiter conjunct Venus there, making out on the couch. Mercury is doing back flips off the arm chair while Saturn sulks in the corner. I’m not sure I’d want to be there.

Welcome Back to High School
Teaching teenagers in rural high schools brings me closer to the underbelly of our society, the one we don’t see on TV. I observe how we are raising the children who will carry the world in the future. I find it terrifying at times. My mind spins. How can I bring something to them, these young people who so often already seem brokien by a system that doesn’t do them justice, that constructs machines around them and then teaches them to consume so that it can consume them? The situation seems dire, and I read and overhear despair from others who teach them and from those who look to the stars. The Aquarian Age has not lived up to the youthful hopes and revolutions of the past.

Activate Your Desires
What can I do? In the bath a message to share came to me: Activate your desires. What does this mean concretely? I shine a light on the dark places I observe and ask my students, directly and indirectly, what do you desire? Most of them do not desire to learn French. They don’t desire to be in school. Today a student I passed in the hall asked me what my problem was. He thought I was staring. Sometimes I feel they don’t want me there, they don’t want to be seen at all, let alone be asked about their desires. What then? I speak to my own desires. Even the small ones deserve my attention - a square of chocolate, a cup of tea. One small, conscious desire equals many large diffuse desires or endless cravings for “other” and “more”. My big desires often rhyme with my fears, so I approach them gingerly and lovingly. I take my time.

The Queen of Wands
Today I drew the Queen of Wands in my daily tarot pull. This card is the card of my Sun’s position and always speaks to me of myself - Water of Fire - all opposite of the Air energies surrounding the moon and most of the rest of the cosmos. The current alignments are rare. I was in a muddle all day with what to do with all the mental energy, but the Queen helped me. In the bath I got it: Activate your desires.

The world is only as you want it to be, as you allow it to be, as you see it and allow it to be seen.

So speak to your desires.

Plant Wisdom
The plants teach me to speak to my desire in the moment, most often my desires, however unbeknownst to me, are formulated at the seed or cellular level to encourage my growth. Ah, the sleeping seeds now getting ready to burst under the snow, teach me that I don’t have far to go to allow the seeds of myself to prepare for the new growing season. How do I want to grow?

And it may seem like we do not have a lot of choice in the matter. I too have felt weighed down by the events of the past year, the illness, death and blindness of our society as we continue to run towards our own demise. And I could get caught up in the blur of whirring cogs in my brain, each planet spinning in air, but I stop myself there.

Maybe no one can tell me what to do. Others don’t have the answer and they can’t show me the path to where I want to go. Maybe I simply need to activate my own desires, and when I think this or write this an energy comes, despite the snow. We are buried for a little while longer I think, and I don’t need the world to conform to me, I simply need to let it flow, let the chaos be the chaos and work itself out.

A Pleiadian Message
The stars gave me this message last month, at the time of the violence in Washington, before Biden’s inauguration. I was listening to star song on my walk down the hill, specifically the Pleiades. It was my homework in a class I am taking with Jocelyn Mercado, Music of the Spheres, to connect with them specifically. As a singer of traditional harmonies and a student of the Middle Ages, celestial song never feels far from my conscience, but deciding to listen to specific constellations has brought me great insight, especially from the stories they carry. The Pleiades said, those sacred sisters, let the chaos flow and settle, work itself out. Another way of saying let go. I think that is what all this Aquarian energy asks of us too. Let it flow, go, all of the mess of the world, and I add, as the Queen of Wands, I’ll activate my desires, as seed children in my womb, and act on them. That’s what I’ll plant at this New Moon, my desires, for the kind of world I want to be in, for the protection and safe growth of the planet and the children.

Your Desires
How are your desires? Would you like to listen in? The plants can help. I offer flower essences, flower essence consultations, tarot readings and astrological conversations on your star chart and your aspirations. I also have a few spots for long term coaching if you’d like to engage with your desires as a creative process of growth with the help of the green world around you. Well, it will be green soon. Make a free appointment to discuss this work with me here.

Stay warm star children! Let me know how you activate your desires!

Love,

Amy

Learning from the Plants about Individuality: The Full Moon in Aquarius

Feeling the Moon

As I write, the Full Moon is still in Aquarius. There is a three day window around the New and the Full Moons in which you can feel a heightened lunar influence. You might even feel lunar for longer periods of time, with more vivid dreams or anxiety. This Full Moon may have hit you with a vengeance. I talked to a friend today who said she had been angry for a week before it went exact and yesterday my mother was more worried than usual. I felt it strongly, in a restrictive way as well. This Full Moon, the opposition between the Sun and the Moon, between Leo and Aquarius, felt harsh to me, as if swords were coming down on all sides.

The Leo and Aquarius

Leo is a fire sign, all about expansion and self expression, and Aquarius is rational air, which feeds the fire, but can also blow it out. The Sun and the Moon were also square Uranus in Taurus, which may have contributed to this feeling of restriction. There was also a Mars in Aries/Jupiter in Capricorn square that we will feel for a while - two goats butting heads - explosions and storms should perhaps not be a surprise.

Seeking Balance

At the Full Moon, Aquarius and Leo were seeking balance, a balance difficult to find, between internal, liberated, intellectual activity and exterior, physical manifestation and attention. Uranus, the change God, was zapping us with potential that felt unreachable.

Peace

When I sat down to feel the Moon and see what she had to tell me, I felt held in the unresolved tension of these demands. Where was my peace within it all? I like to imagine myself at the center of the wheel, in the place of calm at the eye of the storm. Tuning in to cycles can help us feel this peace, even as the chaos of human life whirls around us.

The Wheel of the Year

Image by Ravenlove from Pixabay

On the wheel of the year we have just come past the first Celtic harvest festival, Lughnasadh or Lammas, celebrated around the time of the first of August, when the fruit of the seeds planted in the spring start to ripen. At Beltane, the Green Man and the May Queen mated and now their child, Lugh, begins to age. we are in the full bounty of growth, but the weather where I am is stormy and the sky is grey. The wind speaks words to me that feel weary. Still, we are alive this day, still blowing they say.

To Shine or Not to Shine

The Moon wanted me to talk bout individuation. Leo the lion, where the Sun is, is a fire sign. He wants us all to shine. He is the king, in power, and he wants us all to have a piece of it. We all deserve attention. We all want to be king. But Aquarius, in the air element, friend to the mental, reminds us there are limits to all things, and limits to this shine. Aquarius brings the sword down, pounds his fist on the table, wants the rational first and a solution to things. He wants us to forget this exuberant shining. Is there a middle ground? The Full Moon time, a land of extremes, often asks us this. Where do we need to find balance?

Individuation

So what is individuation? I started to think about it simply in terms of existing as a self in relation to a community, on the spectrum the runs from being independent to being dependent or integrated. The word process is important and comes up again and again in philosophical discussions of individuation. We are never fully individuated but always differentiating ourselves, or being differentiated, from what exists around us. We are not separate from, we are a part of something greater, though at times it seems we have collectively forgotten. Individuation is a process that starts when we are born and never really ends while we are alive.

Psychological Individuation

Starting a business is lonely…

For Jung it was the “achievement of self-actualization through a process of integrating the conscious and the unconscious.” It is a process of becoming one, of becoming whole and entire. It seems to me can engage more or less consciously with this process, and for Jung it was certainly a life’s work, and probably never complete.

Too Visible or Not Enough

This Full Moon got me thinking about how we individuate and whether we find this easy to do or not. Are we protected when we do so, protected enough to grow? We wish we knew. We want to be sure. But we are often left on one side of the two extremes, isolated, either too visible or not enough.

Starting a Business

I had trouble starting a business because it was difficult for me to stand out. Why share something when there are others doing similar things? Who am I to share on this topic when others are doing it better and more fluently? What if I stand out and people don’t like what they see?

Copycat

When I was younger I was sometimes accused of copying, and this left a mark on me. Telling someone not to copy, or making them feel bad because they do, makes people feel that they should only share something if it is truly unique and special. That seems like a good way to keep people silent, doesn’t it? If only someone who is truly unique has a right to share, if you don’t feel special you won’t even try.

Self Worth

Feeling special comes from how we were treated while we were growing up and the sense of self worth that was given to us as children. I don’t know about you, but in my family, the emphasis was definitely placed on us siblings all being treated equally, which, as you can imagine, led to some problems and definitely didn’t help me understand how to express my individuality. And some people aren’t even given the chance of equal treatment. From birth they are told by society that their voice doesn’t count. It’s tricky to value yourself when the world around you doesn’t.

Paradox

To reconcile the extremes of community and individuality you need to embrace a paradox: that the more fully we individuate, the more able we are to come into community. Art itself, or any form of self expression, was not initially meant to demarcate an artist but to unite the community around a moment of channeled creation. Art used to be a channel that erased the individual who thus served his or her community. The artist was a mystic who knew how to blend and to become one with his audience, and on a fundamental level I think we still know this, when we lose ourselves in a play or a painting.

My Words Are Not Me

As a writer, I’ve always found it interesting that the first Latin word for poet was vates, which means seer or prophet. I’ve always felt in writing poetry that something was passing through me, like a divine wind. Other poets have felt this too. When I make flower essences, I have a similar feeling, of channeling a kind of prophetic healing message to humans from the plants. My words are not me. Sometimes people don’t understand this, but it isn’t just false modesty. My individual gifts are only special when I forget who I am and speak for something greater.

Creativity

Creative expression comes through us as through a channel. Our uniqueness is in fact what attaches us to the whole. The paradox of individuality is that we can’t be happy being completely individuated but must learn somehow how to reconnect ourselves to the bigger picture of the world around us. Without this grounding force, we are either too much or nothing at all.

How Plants Individuate

It’s not easy being green…

Last week I wrote about being green and I continue to wonder what this means. It could mean we strive to be more like our green relatives. If we want to be more like plants, can we observe how they individuate? Do plants individuate? At first glance, it might seem that they don’t. Their sense of the collective is certainly stronger than ours, yet I have experienced distinct, personal interactions with individual plants. Individual plants come from seeds which produce the same genes - they grow as a type. Yet each one reacts individually to the environment that surrounds them and faces individual challenges to their existence. It seems to me that plants have mastered the skill of being individual in community. What can we learn from them?

Mullein

Mullein, king of my garden

Mullein grows straight up to the sky. He is a magical plant, associated with both Saturn and Mercury, who reminds me to stand tall. His medicine is for the bones - structural, spinal - and also for the throat and the ear. A vast teacher, he represents for me how to grow vastly, deeply, and reach for the sky. Each stalk has its own character, and one or a few branches of flowers. Each flower on the stalk flowers individually, and over some time. For me he is the example of how to thrive in community, yet stand tall in one’s own individuality. There is nothing uncomfortable about each plants individual blooming. They take two years to bloom, and are sweet and soft at first, becoming harder and taller in the second year, making seeds and sowing himself readily. His root is long, smooth and woody. To me he is very masculine, and teaches how to be tall and strong despite what may be going on in his vicinity.

Water lily

Water lily, queen of my pond

I’ve also been contemplating Waterlily, growing on my pond, pink and round, a stark contrast to our friend Mullein standing up above at the entrance to the garden. Waterlily is utterly feminine to me, growing sideways, spreading out, living in water, made of earth and water, as opposed to Mullein’s air and fire. She is a nymph, Nymphaea is her name, and she is home to many green frogs who sit on her and seem to contemplate their life, much like Kermit did as he sang his song. The Egyptians believed that Isis was born from a lotus and her petals suggest that place from which all human life is born. What is her approach to individuation? Growing in my pond, each flower also blooms individually, a different size and color, at her own rhythm and in her own time, yet they seem to thrive together, expanding outwards horizontally, supporting and sharing the surface of the water where everyone seems to want to be.

Learning From the Flowers

Perhaps like flowers, expressing the highest energy of our type, we can lose ourselves in the creation of who we are and who we were meant to be. This places individuality in service to the community. It is only by losing ourselves in something greater that we find our true purpose. Both Mullein and Water lily, in their different ways, show us how to be comfortable as who we are in community yet shine in our own unique way.

Separate and Together

Perhaps we too ready to see ourselves as both separate and together, different and the same, at the same time. Perhaps in the right community, with the right support, we can thrive. I think the important thing is not to cut ourselves off from community in order to forge our individuality. Human society has made this mistake too many times. By seeing our our similarities, we thrive together and by supporting each other in our differences, we blossom. I believe it is possible to do both. I think that is what the Full Moon wanted to tell to me. The Moon encouraged me to observe the plants growing around me, to listen to the green realm and learn about individuality. The paradox of Leo and Aquarius need not be so harsh: after all, they both live in the same sky.

If you want to talk to me about any of these topics, make a free appointment with me here.

How do you individuate? Where are you on the spectrum of individual/community? How do express yourself creatively? Do you long to do it more or differently?

The flowers probably have something very special to tell you about your own process and I’d love to explore it with you!

Or sign up for a flower essence consultation here to receive your own potent flower message and personalized flower essence.

You can shop for my wild crafted flower essences here and here. Each essence for sale comes with its own message in the form of a poem that you can work with to heal emotional wounds, work on creative blocks and feel more vibrant and whole.

I’m also currently offering tarot readings! Intuitive guidance from the cards can help you navigate any tricky bit of road you might find yourself on. You can make an appointment for one here.

As a member of a new found community of magical people, Carolyn Elliot’s WEALTH, I’m sharing a post on my Instagram account, so you can follow me there and on my Facebook business page for more writing and offerings. You can also support my creative expression on Patreon and receive poetry, flower art, flower essences and consultations that way.

I wish you a beautifully balanced day! Between air and fire, mental and material, mind and body, may you be wonderfully integrated and fabulously yourself, at the very same time.

Love,

Amy

A Full Moon Request: Take Care of Yourself

What is this Full Moon asking of you?

The full moon last night was as bright as daylight and the deer were out in the fields. What was this moon asking of me? The fullness of it pulled at my heart and I felt relief this morning when it started to wane again. I called her down and went out to gather some herbs: chamomile and yarrow, red clover and dandelion root, small red radishes, what wanted to come to me. I listened. The crickets are singing and the second nest of baby robins has flown.

With this full moon in Aquarius, the mental was under scrutiny and I felt a strange leap in my own maturity. How do we perceive the world and how much of this is a result of our inner tuning? Our vision depends heavily on our inner states. I was reminded yesterday when I was back in Montreal, standing on the same street as a month ago, noticing how everything looked smaller and greener, less grim and overpowering; a city is just a city, and I can choose to see the trees. It’s as if, with the help of the plants, I can see ever more clearly.

I woke up to the thought that the early summer apples that were falling wanted to be made into vinegar to bring me health through the end of this season. The last few weeks of healing from shingles, and then from a cold, were low in energy and I got caught up in feeling like I would never be healthy again. Yet here I am feeling able to write and work.

This moon is asking me to care for myself. Taking care of myself means to go slow, to be patient with my progress and movements. I don’t have to get things right the first time. I may need to start over.

Taking care of myself: what else does this entail?

Taking care of my body. Needing my lymph to flow – self-massage, body oiling, energy yoga, face yoga, warm water, cold water, walking, eating what my body tells me it needs, avoiding what it tells me is not needed or excessive (sugar, alcohol). How do I pay attention to these signals? I become more aware of them as I take the time to breath and tune into my body. I make time for ritual. I light a fire.

Taking care of my speech and language. Taking care of my words as they are in my head and as they come out of my mouth. Avoiding sarcasm, which cuts into my ability to speak my truth. Avoiding all language that speaks against myself and others.

Taking care not to judge. Not judging means not having expectations of how people or things should be. I accept myself and others unconditionally.

Taking care of myself means being tender with myself. If sadness is a signal to be tender with myself, illness is a sign to be tender with the body. Illness is a sign that I need to up the self-care, to be ever more gentle with myself when the world feels harsh. I may need to sleep and rest more.

Taking care of myself means taking care to help others, which makes me feel good about myself. Taking the time to do good deeds, however small, like making coffee for my family when I wake up or cooking something without being asked. Thinking of what another person would want me to do for them instead of just doing what I want to do. Imagining everyone around me fulfilled and happy.

I think the ultimate self-care practice is gratefulness: I am grateful for my genius, that kind friend who spurs my words along and inspires me daily. I am grateful for all I am given, all that I can give. Taking care of myself means taking the time to feel this gratefulness in my spirit, no matter what the world is presenting me with.

I take care of myself by giving myself opportunities to express myself that feel right, with the right people, and not comparing myself to others. This self-expression affords me the chance to participate in reflection: I am mirroring you mirroring me.

As we wind down for the summer, we can watch the greens turn to gold and consider how our self-expression serves us. What do you want to say? I’d love to talk to you about it! Sign up for a free conversation with me on how working with the plants can help you express yourself. I have two longer-term coaching programs to talk to you about, or if you’d like to learn how to make a flower essence, I’d love to teach you how. These late summer days are just calling to distill some of the wisdom of the flowers.

Lots of love,

Amy